Saturday, February 10, 2018

“Tomorrow never ends”.

“Tomorrow never ends”.
                Hope is something that we used daily in order to thrive. Hope for the better tomorrow. But what if today is your last day on earth. I think the first thing that comes to your mind is that you’re going to spend it with the ones that you love. I have come to a point that I don’t think my life would continue for another tomorrow. But since I know that God is good all the time and all the time God is good, I am still living. Everyone around you is abandoning you. Maybe because you made a mistake that they cannot accept what you did. What if people do not accept of who you are and no matter what changed you’ve made you’re still the same person who committed crime for them. What you’re gonna feel is that maybe I am an unacceptable person. It’s maybe because I love my family and I still want to live because I still have a bright future ahead of me. It is true that tomorrow never ends in our lay man term but scientifically there is an end to our sun. Meaning someday the sun will become a red giant and somehow engulf everything on earth and then explode to have a supernova episode. Is it true that tomorrow never ends? It is true for the hopefuls. It is much nicer to think that tomorrow never ends than live without aim. It is easier said than done. To accomplish something on a daily basis is better than to think that it is pointless to go on living. Maybe if I’m going with the dead, I will find my rest already. I am simply living because I am not yet ready to die. I’m afraid of committing suicide. I tried but I cannot accomplish. Maybe because I think that tomorrow never ends to me still. Whatever happens to us it is mainly because we choose to be it. We choose to live and not to die. I choose to continue living and now it results better. I think the better thing to do is to be happy daily so that the moment you die you can say that life is beautiful to me and I  had get my reward from the Lord.


Her name is Ivy, a sultry and passionate girl in terms of money. Since she is a kid, she works for the money. She met some boys but refrain herself because she wanted to finish her studies first in order to have a bright future. Until one day, someone add her in facebook, a very handsome prince had caught her attention. He courted her for a week and then they become together after that. A long distance relationship seems boring to her so she made a way on how to get in touch with him. Through cell phone Ivy flirted the guy and also in her laptop. She doesn’t know that it is already married. With that messages that she sends to the guy the wife noticed how Ivy behaves towards her husband so the wife reprimanded Ivy that it is not a good idea to mess with her. Ivy since young continued without knowing what will happen next. What the wife did is so dreadful; she spread to the public the sex video of Ivy and his husband being together. After that, the life of Ivy is ruined not only ruined but pestilence. She became the subject of fun to the surroundings because she covets the husband of other woman.


The first time I saw you
I felt love you’re the reason of my smile
I forgot my problems for awhile
You got me and turned it into white
You are the light of my dark world
Please don’t turn your back on me
Because you’re the inspiration of my life
Even though I die my heart will still beat for you
Even though you’re far from me
Don’t worry coz love knows no boundary
I love you no matter where you are
I will fight my sickness to make you happy
We will grow old together
And there’s nothing we can’t bear
Cause I will fight for you
And I will not stop till I see you smile
You are the air that I breathe
Your kiss is the fresh morning breeze
Yes, I want you to be mine
Your scent is the aroma of my soul
Your smile is the sunshine of my world
Every time you touch me the world stops turning
My body and my whole being
Is only dedicated to you
Cause you own my heart and my smile
I will give everything to you
Just don’t leave me while I’m blue
Cause maybe I’ll forget how to breathe




While I’m on my mission of travelling in this world
All I want is a house to peacefully dwell
I don’t need your presence anymore
My heart is already sold to someone else
Your gold means nothing to me
It sucks my blood and my bones
Oh my gosh why all these things happen to me
Where I should I start my story?
Upon entering into this fallen world
I have no idea of what’s in it
All I have is a family
Who loves me through thick and thin…
I am not a martyr to save you of your misery
I am only human that is capable of getting hurt too
So don’t lean on me like I have to pay you
Of your false humility and kindness
Oh destiny, my destiny
Where do I start, when I should end this?
I’ve been miserable of getting the answers
Why all these things happen to me?
My luck strikes like a magnet
Yes, I want you so stay beside me…

Oh life!

Oh life!
What the fuck is it?
Everything seems so perfect
But it is only a make believe
One single mistake
All your illusions will be erased
To lift a hand is not an option
To offer a bribe is the only thing
That can sway the mouth of the lions
Who are you anyway?
Why are you blocking my way?
Are you an enemy or a friend?
Why are you acting like god?
Do you handle the destiny of my life?
With all of my efforts
I still come empty handed
Why the hell is it?
Thieves get into my house
No matter how I state my testimony
Their minds are keen on holding my neck to break it
What is going on my friend?
Did I ever rob you of your goods?
If ever that I hurt you
I think I already paid you
What you want is not money
All you want is my life
I hope that you hear this cry
Deep in my heart I wanna die
But to know that you will be happy without me
I think I still have reason to live


Friday, August 25, 2017


Oh my gosh, I just can't tell my boyfriend how nervous and unsure I am in dealing with the relationship, I can see that he's doing his best to make me happy but still the uncertainty in my heart creeps in. I know that I need him and that I have a feelings for him but you know the past continues to cloud in my mind. My nasty and freaking past. Maybe I can call myself an autistic because you know I am naturally secretive and that I have my own world that me alone knows. It is hard for me to get real sometimes because you know I am afraid of being rejected and misunderstood. It is maybe because I am hiding a secret from my family and from my boyfriend. It is maybe because I am still a child deep inside who still wants to wander in life. The fear of the unknown. What the future lies? As always, computer has always been my confidant on how I feel. The transitions of my life are so fast because you know, life is always a matter of decision-making. I want to thank my family who supports me financially. In the long run, maybe I have to change again. What? I can say that, people change because of their needs to change. How I wish, to have a friend wherein I can be who I want to be. To be imprisoned in a fake world, is a bit of a trial. Getting real is a battle. Another thing is acceptance. Good for you, if you are being accepted. Emotions, imprisoned emotions. I don't know. We are in a sea of people. Deciding for myself, hahaha, I'm getting old. Are you afraid? Afraid of the unknown. The fear of death.

This is another scrap of ideas floating in my brain....
I have a dream of becoming a writer but I'm not that experienced enough to finish one book. But actually I like to become a writer and I have published one. Hahaha. Just one copy, for myself. Entitled, Fate, faith and the becoming. Hahaha. I wish to write books, songs and poems.

That's all


Sunday, August 20, 2017

The Daily Routines

Life is like a jungle, you just do everything to survive and you have to follow the rules in order to avoid conflict. What I see in life, is that, all people are still finding with their resting place. A place that you call your own, wherein you can do what you want without any restrictions. As I continue living, nothing's change, still haunted with your past. That mistake that almost take my life. What I did is just standing firm on what I believe in, because I believe in Jesus Christ as my savior and Lord so I defended my faith but I did not know what's behind all those things that they are saying to me. I just needed to find security, to call my own. I already said all the truth but still not enough and lies but still not enough. I think my existence is being questioned. They just can't get it that I wanted to survive too. I am poor and I don't have connections to any celebrities or politicians. What a wasted life I have... When I was a kid, my only problem is how to get a better grades in school... but now I need to fight for my validity and reliability, that I too was capable. I wanted to say to them, that I too has the right to live... No matter how high I reached , I am still stuck with the reality that I am only a poor kid... I need to strive in order to have food... I too have a dream for myself... They wanted to know about my reality. My reality is boring because I have nothing, I only have myself. In my 32 years of existence, I feel like, I ride in a roller coaster ride, Sometimes I am down and sometimes I'm on up, what I did is that I just refuse to die yet... maybe I needed to change my character, from being secretive to loud, I don't know exactly how to fit in, to be secretive or loud, I am always changing but still not enough, I think I lost all of my goodness and have embraced evil. I became the devil and it is too scary. Maybe in the other part of the world. I have my place too wherein I do not need to change. Wherein I can be myself without being afraid to be judged. Maybe if I expose myself, I have the chance to be happy and be myself without acting. I miss my old self but life is like this, you have to go with the flow, you have to fight. My family doesn't believe me so I have to fake myself. Nobody believed me. I am faking from my family because they don't believe in me, they just say that I am crazy. It is hard to be alone so I get caught. Maybe if I have a friend that can be with me but anyway I can a friend because I am friendly. At first, I am a devoted Christian and I fought for my belief and then it is not right and now that I am a nominal Christian, it is still not right. My religion is everything to me before but they wanted to disprove it. I changed. After I changed, still the same. Haunted.

Thank God I survived...